staring at my macbook

by mowgliart

I got digital dreams, because we all want those material things.

One of the toughest things in my life right now is finding my place. I am absolutely animate about people defining their character; in finding something that inspires them, that drives them, their passion. I love it when I meet someone who is absolutely inspired by music, comedy, or even fucking hula hooping. If you found that thing that creates that sense of joy, then by all means that is something that should be, what you  do and love every single day. I say this with the acceptance that I cannot abide by what I teach.

Is it true that teachers are the the people that can’t follow their own advice, that the ones that give advice are the ones who need it the most? It is for me. I could speak in front of thousands of people a la TED style about how important character is and how defining what is most essential to your life should be what you pursue everyday. The problem for me is I haven’t found it yet.

I enjoy women. I enjoy meeting people. Some of my favorite memories are when I used to host Halo tournaments in High School. I enjoyed the fact that I could bring people together for a common interest from all across the country. People have always been my passion. They are who I do this art for. They are who I write for. If no one read what I wanted to say, if no one saw the thing I painted on the wall, and if I couldn’t figure out a way to talk to the person, the human being next to me, then I have failed.

There is so much I want to do with my life. I’ve always been a dreamer.

(tangent)
The only thing I don’t understand more than women and West Virginia’s obsession with Mountain Dew is the public’s connection with brands. It’s a company, not a lifestyle. Just like every other person, we are trying to find our piece of success, our profit, a way we can provide, some way to make our lives more comfortable and help the people we care about. I have always wanted to create my own brand. I wanted to wear a brand that I created, that I believe in with a company mentality that would appeal to the masses.

In high school I had no idea what i was doing, I was a gamer and a nerd, but I played football. I was a nice guy who talked to everyone, but couldn’t get the girl. I wore Quicksilver, Billabong, Old Navy, and sadly No Fear. I look back at it and I have no idea why I wore those t-shirts. I mean I guess the brands and the designs were agreeable to my sense of fashion, but I never surfed, I wasn’t a skater, and more importantly I never connected to the brand.

This is one of things that could be a HUGE potential for this day and age of 2012. We have the opportunity to interact and influence every single consumer, every single impression, every word that is passed person to person. If you represent yourself and the brand that is you; you can be the brand that someone actually knows.
(end tangent)

I really want to start encouraging people to fail; to have the most resistance (what’s stopping one from accomplishing my dreams) you could possibly imagine and to have the most FEAR that one can experience with not succeeding. Launching a clothing line or even this blog itself scares the shit of me. Anyone can read this and it is directly connected to my social media accounts. Could that be detrimental in the future? Of course. Could I figure out what I want and where I want to go from this type of writing? FUCK YEAH. The only way I will find out is doing it.

My father always used to say, “What’s the worst that could happen?” in regards to any type of proposal, flirt, or opening. The worst thing anyone or anything that could happen is the person says No, or even politely says No thanks.

I want more. I will not settle for this 20 something vanilla life of settling. I feel like the majority of people I met in college just followed the course. They graduated high school in a decent part of the top, they went to a decent state college or ventured to out of state, they graduated, they took a great job they thought that would offer the opportunity to advance, they found a girl that they would be content with, and they lived life not pursing what they are really passionate about. I will not become them. I have never been someone that could just keep busy with being the norm or doing one thing.

The more I write and let the thoughts flow through my fingers, the more I realize that this blog will be very personal. It will track my art progress, the projects I’ll be completing, the designs I do, and the girls I date. But for me the most important purpose this blog will serve is a measurement of growth. I have done so many interesting and great things in my short time on this Earth and I wish I could of reflected on those times when it actually occurred. I haven’t given myself the opportunity to see where I’ve come from, and from here I want to be someone that I would be proud of and understand what I went through.

This is a personal post. If you made it past the 2nd or 3rd paragraph; truly and sincerely thank you (double word meaning the same thing). I wish I stayed in contact with more people that read this or even cared enough to click the link. I miss and cherish the people I’ve met in my life.

-M

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