Broccoli Fucking Salad – cooking with Mowgli

THE INGREDIENTS!

 

Deheading some broccoli and chopping up them stems

 

Onion + Knife = ….

 

red onion chopping. try to think of manly things and not crying.

 

too late you were emotionally attached to that onion and also thought of when Mufasa died in Lion King

 

Man yourself up with some Bacon.

 

That’s just sexy

 

Chop up and make yoself some bacon bits

 

ingredients to make that sauceeee

 

fuck you white vinegar tab thing

 

stir the shit out of it until that sugar dissolves like you do with your crystal light packets

 

put those ingredients in bowl and add that mmmmmm cheese

 

add more bacon…just in case 

 

Mixed finished product sans sauce

 

Put your sauce in a separate container and add that shit before you serve this delicious tasty side dish for your BBQ and or Thanksgiving potluck.

 

They’ll be like gross what is that just a bunch of broccoli and some onions and you’ll calmly reply what did you bring, that god awful chicken salad that still has not been touched? Exactly there are 3 tubs of that weak dish. Tell them that there is bacon in it and that alone triumphs their dish on principle. Let them have a bite and have their eyes light up in amazement that broccoli can actually taste great despite years and years of hatred from millions of children.

 

Fin

 

-M

Recipe Below from SaintLMo:


Salad:

  • 3 – 4 heads of fresh broccoli – deaded and chopped
  • Small red onion – diced
  • Bacon – like a shit ton. sliced thin strips, bacon-bitted, cooked until awesome
  • 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Dressing:

  • 1 cup mayonnaise
  • ¼ cup sugar
  • 2 TB white vinegar

^stir until the sugar dissolves like the feelings to your ex-women.

Further Instructions:

  • Best to put the dressing on before you serve it…..I usually double or 1.5 times the dressing recipe.  

Optional Ingredients:

  • Sunflower seeds
  • Raisins